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More Than You Know
Posted On: 09/27/2007 19:44:01
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"More Than You Know" My heart was cold today. I had a verse of a song stuck in my head and couldn't seem to get it out. The dreams I'd been having weren't making life any easier and I knew it was my own fault as well as the lies that subdued.
I had gotten myself into this mess, leaving me with nothing but heartbreak and mistrust. I scared the people I loved not just because I had never done such before but because they had believed in me, thought nothing of it. Now it was my turn to face the facts and crawl out of the grave I had been digging for four months.
Now comes the questions - can I do this? Will I find the strength to help me keep going - can I make it through when after all, it's my turn to be abandoned. Will I see the future light glisten in another's eyes and learn to love myself as well as others once again?
The sun sets into the mysterious wonder and with a steady eye and tense heart I know this day is over and a new will so begin like all days do. But are my foes really in the past when they haunt me, time and time again? When I feel the intensity attempting to rip me apart limb by limb and spreading my body along the cement for all to see? I try to escape but it haunts me daily - the emptiness inside waiting for it's fulfillment, it's devourment.
But they say it comes in stages. And like it says in music, "It only gets worse before it gets better". So am I almost over the hill, ready for the change to come back down from this fairy-tale reality? After all this is said and done, will I be able to find that smile that captivated the world with everything I had? Will I be able to face my mistake without a sour taste in my mouth, the churning of my stomach? Will the Gods finally be back at my side instead of chiding me and smiting me till my knees grew weary? Will I be strong enough to look danger in the face and not go back and be weak?
So many questions with timeless answers giving me no choice but to throw it aside and raise my head to the heavens. You can't forget the ones that love you will always be by your side - even if you think they don't understand you and you shy away for a time. If they love you, they'll understand in the end, even if they didn't know the whole story. They'll hold you up when your knees can't hold you. They'll keep you smiling when all you want to do is break down and cry. And most of all that makes the difference between loved ones and the people in your life, they'll keep you alive when you feel like you have nothing left to give and the world could or would go on without you. They're the ones that fill your lungs with air - the ones that keep your heart beating. They're the ones there for you more than you'll ever know and realize, and they're the ones that will be in your life forever.
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