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LIFE
Posted On 09/23/2007 03:48:57
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The way I feel right Now
Unable to face another hour.
I look in the mirror
Startled by someone Else's reflection.
Suffocated by my life of self deception.
I'm the chameleon that adapts to any situation.
A product of the State.
Our so called wonderful Nation.
Whats my life's Destination?
Falling faster toward this self constructed
disaster.
Orchestrating my own Demise-I'm in self destruct mode.Falling faster and faster-I'm the Culprit, bastard.
Plagued by horrible memories within a troubled mind.
Some persecute me for my out look on life.
Given the chance I'd relight the light.
That turned black before having sight.
Every days is as unpredictable as the next.
Trying to exhibit this word impressed upon me as an adolescent,"Love".
Can't seem to grasps its essence.
what important lesson did I miss?
Was I incarcerated during the only sessions?
Inevitability playing out my roll from the book, "Surcease Of Sorrow."
I struggle to let go of the past , To began a better tomorrow.
Its only this Requiem of a Dream - That Keeps me going.
In My dreams I can fly , advancing , moving forward.
Concisely aware my dreams are short lived, time only borrowed.
Anticipating my next chance to Astro project.
To the make-believe world that only exists in my head.
© Copyright 2007 johnbalestrino29 (UN: johnbalestrino at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
johnbalestrino29 has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Life is hard for some , Picture perfect for others.
Who's to determine - Which or the other?
Our Destines - Really Predetermend?
What is love , What's it mean to you?
Warped perception - Learned as a youth.
I can't feel love, So how can you?
Love's a riddle , Hard to choose.
Knowing the truth , what can you do?
Look in A Mirror - Like what you see?
Is it the reflection that you expected it to be?
This is the Acid Test test - Try it and see...
Take off that mask - We all hide beneath.
Being true to your self - Is harder than it seems.
Think of your life now - Something missing?
Are you a slave to a world of pain and misery?
Does the word love seems unreal - Contradicting?
I answered YES,- What do you see?
I have always felt alone,- Never knew why.
Pretending to be happy, Living a lie.
It's more than just -"A State Of Mind"!
Robed as a child - Befor knowing the price.
Can't seem to get it back - Lost in time.
We overlook things in life, People, Or health.
Fighting to obtain Power , Knowledge or Wealth.
What about my family ? Do they know I care?
Even when I around - I'm not really there.
Give anything to rewrite the Chapter - Thats blurred in my mind.
Would this world seem brighter? - Not just a wast of time?
© Copyright 2007 johnbalestrino29 (UN: johnbalestrino at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
johnbalestrino29 has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Another day has passed by - Still alone wondering why.
Reminiscing those childhood dreams. Funny how fast things change.
Very Rambunctious and wild. You couldn't separate me from my smile.
Life was all fun and games. Climbing trees - playing in the rain.
Unfortunately my story is about to get strange -
My dreams turned nightmare , Never again would life be the same.
Persecuted from the start, And destined most unlikely to succeed.
I fared forth in high hopes, Persevering against all odds;
I took on the world and challenged the GODS.
Somewhere along the way I hit a wall, Too massive to break through,
Unable to climb ; Much to tall.
So I began digging . "there must be another way!",
Further and further I dug. Barring myself along the way.
Isolated and frightened, feeling betrayed,
The world seemed so cold and empty - Alone again still wondering why.
"Will someone please help me?" I repeated, Over and over again.
Then came the answers - But it wasn't from any Man.
Because Im still alone here and wondering why...
Then it occurred - Am I ?
The voices must have manifest from somewhere - Surely not from my head.
Perplexed and baffled. I was convinced it was coming from the dead.
Longing for explanations to this state of mental health.
Becoming Unstable and angry - I reached out for help.
I went to a doctor , A diagnosis was given; "borderline schizophrenic,"They called it - And I was the victim.
"How was this possible?" I asked, I have always been so sane.
"Its not your fault!" he said, "Its a chemical imbalance within your brain."
Now I'm back to lucid dreaming, The demons were just in my mind.
As long as I take My antidote, I'll be just fine...
© Copyright 2007 johnbalestrino29 (UN: johnbalestrino at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
johnbalestrino29 has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Peeking through the window. - Can they see me ?
I've been here for hours. - Feet start to scream.
Running down the hallway. - Knives in both hands.
Demons right behind me. - No semblance of man.
Why do they chase me ? - Why won't they leave?
Loosing touch with reality. - They're all that I see.
Have I gone crazy? - Something answers me.
Scratching at the window. – Too petrified to breathe.
They seem to enjoy this. - What is it they hunt?
The whole room seemed to answer. -
"We're servants of the Devil,
And it's YOU that we want "!
Paranoid schizophrenia that manifested through time.
Is the unfortunate Diagnosis. - That explains my sick mind.
Twisted reality. – Getting only worse with time.
Untreated will surely kill me. - I'm destined to die.
Wait! where are the voices? - That toy with my brain?
I feel so alone now. - Or have I gone permanently insane?
Without them I'm lonely. - An emptiness within.
As sick as it might sound. - I kind of miss them.
To some this sounds morbid - This paradox I face.
But being alone in my mind is a frighting place.
© Copyright 2007 johnbalestrino29 (UN: johnbalestrino at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
johnbalestrino29 has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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