Left alone when
When I needed you more
back on my knees
falling to the floor
You said you'd always be there
When I needed you most
now you show me me your true self
the part you don't boast
So go on and say
it was protection for me
I'll remember that next time
you'll see.
Tags: poem
Hey guys! I'm back! Did anyone miss me?
lol just kidding. Sorry I've been gone away so long and haven't read my comments, messages or friends requests. I kinda stopped coming to both sites (here and dark siders) after none of us could make up our minds on where to go. Mom finally told me where people were settling, and by then I was really wrapped up.
Since October, I've had four band competitions, mid term exams, many many birthdays, band practices, Friday night footballs and all the drama anybody could want
But, that's high school for you.
Now, a day before Thanksgiving break (yes, we get a week this year woot!) I am two days away from FMBSC, or Florida Marching Band State Competition. Mother of all competition. We have to be at school by 4a.m. just to get to Tropicana Feild to play by 8:10. Yeah, it's gonna be a long day
But it'll be worth it if we make finals!
So yea, that's what I've been up to. I have to go to a friend's house tomorrow night in order to get a ride to school and after all the band stuff is said and done, I get to come home to visit my aunt who's staying 10 days
Thanksgiving is going to be nothing too exciting. I get to go to Orlando to meet up with more family (woo) and I pray my batteries in my mp3 player will hold out.
Well, that's about it. I have a few new stories that I'll have to share for the ones that read my work
Later!
good vs. evil. Make of it as you will. Both gained in triumph and lost willingly to control. It's like when emotions run amuck inside you - the ones you can't control, for example, lust, rage, jealousy and especially sadness. All those bottled up ready for the charge and when they pop, clear blast radius.
I'm not here to complain. Life is drama and all that goes with it. Women are bitches and will backstab and lie to your face just so they can have their fiften seconds of fathomed fame. I'm getting used to working my ass off and then having shit thrown back in my face as the "Well done - Great job" present. That's life. Who cares anymore about who gets the guy and who's turn it is to fall in love and get married - they'll just leave you anyway hun.
So much violence and hatred and when the ones we love go missing making us worried and afraid and feel human again because with all this power and nothing to show for it, what do we do? How do we keep the stress bottled inside and leave our emotions at the door, erasing one another from existance with a smile that shows your strength and unwillingness to give up?
Love and hate: two worst things man created
And I can prove that.
"More Than You Know"
My heart was cold today. I had a verse of a song stuck in my head and couldn't seem to get it out. The dreams I'd been having weren't making life any easier and I knew it was my own fault as well as the lies that subdued.
I had gotten myself into this mess, leaving me with nothing but heartbreak and mistrust. I scared the people I loved not just because I had never done such before but because they had believed in me, thought nothing of it. Now it was my turn to face the facts and crawl out of the grave I had been digging for four months.
Now comes the questions - can I do this? Will I find the strength to help me keep going - can I make it through when after all, it's my turn to be abandoned. Will I see the future light glisten in another's eyes and learn to love myself as well as others once again?
The sun sets into the mysterious wonder and with a steady eye and tense heart I know this day is over and a new will so begin like all days do. But are my foes really in the past when they haunt me, time and time again? When I feel the intensity attempting to rip me apart limb by limb and spreading my body along the cement for all to see? I try to escape but it haunts me daily - the emptiness inside waiting for it's fulfillment, it's devourment.
But they say it comes in stages. And like it says in music, "It only gets worse before it gets better". So am I almost over the hill, ready for the change to come back down from this fairy-tale reality? After all this is said and done, will I be able to find that smile that captivated the world with everything I had? Will I be able to face my mistake without a sour taste in my mouth, the churning of my stomach? Will the Gods finally be back at my side instead of chiding me and smiting me till my knees grew weary? Will I be strong enough to look danger in the face and not go back and be weak?
So many questions with timeless answers giving me no choice but to throw it aside and raise my head to the heavens. You can't forget the ones that love you will always be by your side - even if you think they don't understand you and you shy away for a time. If they love you, they'll understand in the end, even if they didn't know the whole story. They'll hold you up when your knees can't hold you. They'll keep you smiling when all you want to do is break down and cry. And most of all that makes the difference between loved ones and the people in your life, they'll keep you alive when you feel like you have nothing left to give and the world could or would go on without you. They're the ones that fill your lungs with air - the ones that keep your heart beating. They're the ones there for you more than you'll ever know and realize, and they're the ones that will be in your life forever.
